tgarnsl: profile of an eighteenth century woman (Default)
tgarnsl ([personal profile] tgarnsl) wrote2019-11-17 06:26 pm

Kissing Fic

[personal profile] sanguinity wanted drunken kissing fic. I wrote drunken kissing fic. (As per, I reserve all rights to edit this at will, but for now...)

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The ship was swinging at anchor as Hornblower climbed aboard. Strange, the sea seemed so calm, and yet the deck of the Nonsuch heaved beneath his feet as though she were caught in long Atlantic rollers. Cautiously, he made his way to his cabin, ignoring the fussing and flapping officers who plagued him like fleas. He thought of the Countess and her attempted seduction, and stifled a laugh. Oh, but to see the look on her face if he had told her the sort of things he truly desired, if he had told her the sort of man he truly was — he imagined her bright eyes going wide with shock as she clutched her hands against her ample bosom at the horror of it. She had been charming, if forward in the way that only foreign noblewomen dare to be, and for a moment he very nearly wished he had accepted her invitation to examine the pictures, an invitation that would have no doubt ended in her bed. He could almost picture her yielding to him, how it would feel to touch her, to taste her, to get his hands on that splendid body of hers. But he had not wanted that, or he would have stayed there and lost himself in her. Not even the promise of succour after long months of forced celibacy could tempt him to it. As much as he longed for affection, as beautiful as the Countess had been, he had not wanted her, nor any other woman or man in the palace tonight.

“Bring me Captain Bush,” he demanded as Brown helped him off with his uniform and into his nightshirt. “And bring us a bottle of wine. Some cheese and bread would do well.” All the wine and vodka had made him intolerably hungry.

The table was laid with food and drink, and it was not long before Bush appeared on the threshold, looking rather worriedly at his commodore. Hornblower ordered him to sit and drink, which Bush did, as he narrated the events of the night as coherently as he could, the wine loosening his tongue. Bush watched in wide-eyed horror as he described Braun’s treachery, and the near-assassination of the Czar.

“I’m glad you are safe, sir,” Bush said when Hornblower was through.

“I’m merely relieved the Czar wasn’t killed.”

“Yes, but…” Bush was picking dregs from his wineglass. “I’m glad you are safe, sir.”

“I left at a fortunate time,” said Hornblower, pouring another glass of wine. His head was swimming but the feeling was not unpleasant; he felt as though he were far out to sea, his cares no more than distant smudges on the horizon. “I was partnered with the Countess—” He struggled to remember her title. “Something or Other at dinner, who I fear may have had her way with me had I stayed any longer.”

Bush looked up from his wineglass. Worry flickered briefly over his face. “Indeed, sir?”

“She invited me to see the picture gallery. She was rather…” He fumbled for the right word. “Entrancing. All throughout the dinner she kept her foot pressed on mine. Her intention was fairly clear.”

“Is that so, sir?” Bush asked flatly, a muscle in his jaw twitching as he attempted to swallow his jealousy, with little success. Hornblower wondered what might happen if he pushed Bush further, and several lurid fantasies drifted through his inebriated mind. But he knew Bush would never do any of those things, not at sea, and so he resisted the urge to tease his friend any more.

“I turned her down, of course,” he said, and took a long drink of wine. “But by God, she was magnificent. Beautiful eyes. Beautiful face. And her bosom—” He left that part blank; Bush was man enough to imagine the rest.

“And yet you’re here.”

“And yet I’m here,” Hornblower mumbled through a mouthful of cheese. He did not want to think on what it meant that he should choose Bush’s chaste company over the fulfilment of carnal desire.

“It’s for the best, sir,” offered Bush. “For all you know she was as poxed as a dockside harlot.”

Hornblower laughed, and to his horror realised he was well and truly drunk. He hadn’t been this far gone since Graçay, on the eve of the new year, when he and Bush had shared a bottle of brandy and Bush had put a hand on Hornblower’s knee in a clumsy attempt at seduction. So much had passed between them since. So much more could change. He was grateful, he realised, grateful for Bush and his quiet company, and for his loyal friendship. Few men could count a better or more loyal friend than Bush.

“Do you mean that, sir?” Bush asked, and Hornblower realised to his shame he had spoken the last part aloud.

“Suppose so,” he said awkwardly.

Bush’s swarthy face was red with embarrassment. “Thank you, sir,” he mumbled. He stood, fearing more sentimental nonsense should Hornblower be allowed to continue. “You ought to get some sleep, sir.”

Hornblower rose to his feet, grasping for the edge of the table as the Nonsuch rolled beneath his feet. “Wait,” he said, even though Bush had not yet gone. He stumbled over to Bush, standing there calmly in spite of the wicked weather. “William.”

“Sir?”

He reached out and took Bush’s hand, kissing the hard, rough palm. Bush stiffened but did not pull away.

“There,” he said, and let Bush go. “Consider it a promise to be fulfilled.” Then Nonsuch lurched and Hornblower found himself clutching at Bush’s shoulders. Bush staggered but kept his balance.

“Easy now, sir,” Bush said, chuckling, as he patted Hornblower’s back. “Easy.”

Hornblower pressed his face into Bush’s shoulder, not quite willing to let him go yet. He felt Bush reach up and touch the back of his head, fingers curling in his hair, and he allowed himself for just a moment to be comforted by the warm and solid embrace. Then he remembered himself, drunk as he was, and tried to step away, to preserve what little dignity he had left, but Bush held him fast.

“My apologies,” Hornblower said, shamefaced, and cleared his throat. Bush did not seem to hear him; his blue eyes were fixed on Hornblower but his attention was elsewhere. “Forgive me, Bush, I’m—”

Bush silenced him with a kiss, and Hornblower started, caught off guard, but Bush had him snared and was not letting go. He kissed Hornblower with a fierce insistence, one hand gripping Hornblower’s hair tightly, the other at Hornblower’s back, pressing them together, and Hornblower had little choice but to give in to it; the cabin was spinning, and he clutched at Bush’s shoulders, unsteady on his feet.

“Sir,” said Bush, breaking the kiss, and Hornblower realised Bush was struggling to stand, burdened as he was with Hornblower’s weight.

“Come,” said Hornblower, taking Bush’s hand and pulling him over to sit on the locker beneath the stern windows.

“Won’t you sit down too, sir?” asked Bush, tugging at Hornblower’s hand, and Hornblower acquiesced, sitting down beside him on the narrow locker. There was a line of worry on Bush’s forehead, a line that had not gone away all evening, and Hornblower reached up and stroked Bush’s cheek with the back of his hand. Bush turned his face, pressing his lips against Hornblower’s knuckles, and smiled. It was always a curious thing to see Bush smile; his face was as craggy and rough as the face of a man who had spent thirty years at sea ought to be, but when he smiled it was as soft and sweet as a girl.

Hornblower could do nothing but kiss him. It pricked his conscience that he had even entertained the Countess’ flirtations when he had no intention of following them to their natural end, no intention at all. She was not what he wanted, she would never be what he wanted. No woman — or man — in that palace tonight could ever be what he wanted, not when what he truly desired was here, sitting beside him with a hand on his bare knee. He deepened the kiss, Bush responding in kind, and it was everything Hornblower could have ever wanted.

At last he pulled away and yawned. Bush was still smiling at him, and Hornblower found himself grinning back.

“Let me take you to your cot, sir,” said Bush, rising, and Hornblower smiled up at him beatifically. “Take my hand, sir.”

Hornblower did, allowing Bush to pull him up. He put both arms round Bush’s shoulders and slowly they made their way to where Hornblower’s cot hung, Hornblower dragging his feet and Bush stumping along as best he could. Somehow he pulled himself into the cot and lay there while Bush tucked the blankets in around him, promising to send Brown in with a bucket should he need to be sick in the night.

“Thank you, Bush,” said Hornblower, catching Bush’s hand before he could turn and leave. Bush looked puzzled.

“It’s nothing, sir,” he said, but his brow was creased with concern. “Would you have done it, sir?” he asked at last. “Gone with the Countess, I mean?”

Any jape or jibe that Hornblower might have had ready was stifled at birth by the honest anxiety on Bush’s face. Was it possible that this man, who flinched from neither broadside nor sword, had been afraid that Hornblower might choose a woman over him? And would Bush be wrong to fear it? After all, Hornblower’s cowardice had seen him throw Bush over before, first for Maria, then for Barbara — he had even kissed Marie once, in a fit of madness. But that had been before Graçay, before Sheerness, where the world had finally been put to rights.

“No,” he admitted. “Not even if she’d been the Queen of Sheba.”

The open relief on Bush’s face was disarming. Hornblower struggled upright in bed and put a hand on the back of Bush’s neck, drawing him close to kiss him soundly.

“I made my choice,” said Hornblower, releasing Bush. “I’ll thank you to not doubt me again in the future.”

“Aye-aye, sir,” said Bush. For a moment it seemed as if he might say something, but he smiled instead. “Goodnight, sir.”

“Goodnight, Bush.”

Hornblower closed his eyes, listening to the retreating thump of Bush’s steps and the quiet scrape of the door. It was strange that Nonsuch should sway so at anchor, but he did not think too long about it, for somewhere someone was singing.
sanguinity: woodcut by M.C. Escher, "Snakes" (Default)

[personal profile] sanguinity 2019-11-18 04:20 am (UTC)(link)
! ! ! !

Oh, I am all delight!

Hornblower is very naughty to tease Bush so. It is absolutely in character for him to do so, but still, he is very naughty. He should count himself lucky that Bush takes it with such good grace.

Well. Not entirely good grace. There might have been a little possessiveness there.

(Tell me, did I actually say the phrase "jealous kisses" to you? Because that was the other option when I was choosing a prompt -- drunken or jealous, I couldn't decide which.)

And I take it this is a sequel to the hand-on-knee Gracay snippet you shared a while back, yes?
sanguinity: woodcut by M.C. Escher, "Snakes" (Default)

[personal profile] sanguinity 2019-11-18 04:32 am (UTC)(link)
before Sheerness, where the world had finally been put to rights.

*hearts-eyes*

I do hope that Bush enjoyed drunkenly sentimental Hornblower. That must be a rare treat.
sanguinity: woodcut by M.C. Escher, "Snakes" (Default)

[personal profile] sanguinity 2019-11-18 05:05 am (UTC)(link)
Hmph, Hornblower's insistence that he's "made his choice" and that Bush stop having doubts... That's a bit unreasonable, in my opinion. Being with someone is a choice that must be made over and over and over again, and Sheerness couldn't have been more than, what, a year ago? And Hornblower has a history of shying away from Bush. It takes time to learn to trust, given that history.

Oo, there's an entire 'verse of this! I didn't dare ask for the backstory, but I'm thrilled that it exists, if only in snippets. I hope to see more of this verse, even if you do find it disgustingly sentimental.

Well, Bush expects to have to pay for happy moments, so I suppose he won't be too hurt when the backlash happens. Still, relish those golden moments, Mr Bush. Relish them to the hilt!
sanguinity: woodcut by M.C. Escher, "Snakes" (Default)

[personal profile] sanguinity 2019-11-18 05:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Aw, you're making me sad for Bush -- so many reasons to doubt himself. Now I want the list of why Hornblower has chosen him.

Commodore: April through December 1812. December is for the American edition (which ends at Christmas); the UK version ends several months earlier, with Napoleon's retreat from Riga in September 1812. So yeah, the action on Commodore begins less than a year after their escape from France in 1811.

Backstory: As best pleases you! I would enjoy hearing anything you want to share, especially if talking helps your process. (And if it inhibits it, then I will be scrupulously patient!)

Hah! If Hornblower is going to be like that, Bush should spend lots of time PACING VERY LOUDLY above Hornblower's head while he's trying to sleep it off. (What second does the sun rise?? As if your timekeeping is good enough for that!)

sanguinity: woodcut by M.C. Escher, "Snakes" (Default)

[personal profile] sanguinity 2019-11-18 06:57 pm (UTC)(link)
The temptation to be facetious and start that particular list off with 1. Good dick is very strong, but I'm resisting. Hahaha, yet one of the many ways he's better than a wife!

Both Sheerness and Smallbridge are in Kent; they can't be that far apart. But even so, even with their long history together, a year isn't that much time to build a new foundation: these two are still going to be very new to each other, in some ways.

Oh god, I'm just imagining Brown listening to the especially pointed THUNK! THUNK! THUNK! from above, going on for hours, and witnessing Hornblower's corresponding fits of temper below, and knowing exactly what it all means. He's had a front-row seat for all these two's bullshit ever since Rosas Bay, the poor man.
sanguinity: woodcut by M.C. Escher, "Snakes" (Default)

[personal profile] sanguinity 2019-11-18 07:51 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm just saying it's not Yorkshire, not that it's a nice morning's walk before breakfast. And anyway, why couldn't Smallbridge be two villages over? Not everything has to be difficult, must it?

The world very much needs Brown Third Wheels through France fic. I've got other things I'm more interested in writing, but dear lord, the things that poor man has had to pretend not to see!
sanguinity: woodcut by M.C. Escher, "Snakes" (Default)

[personal profile] sanguinity 2019-11-18 08:08 pm (UTC)(link)
After that, Brown learns to hum very loudly everywhere he goes, just in case there are officers doing it in the bushes who might need a few extra seconds to button up and hide.
colebaltblue: Bush's Eyebrow (bush)

[personal profile] colebaltblue 2019-11-18 06:35 pm (UTC)(link)
“I made my choice,” said Hornblower, releasing Bush. “I’ll thank you to not doubt me again in the future.”


*swoon*